nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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