is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
