im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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