Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
