having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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