i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
