i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Small penises have feelings too.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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