He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
