i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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