if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
