I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
