D3 body, D1 cock
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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