your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
