return my video game
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize