some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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