Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
