Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
