Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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