I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She announced her abortion via fbk
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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