At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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