Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Two words: blizzard sex
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
