I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
