She's JV to your varsity
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
