Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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