I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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