Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
