you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I think i got beer on your cat.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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