Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
