im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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