I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
