this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
