If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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