Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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