More tranny stories later!
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
