She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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