I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
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