stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
