she was so not down for the gang bang
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
