Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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