he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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