I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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