I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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