first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
her vagine was all disorganized.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize