I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
