just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Randomize