You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
