Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm too high and old for this...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
