And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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