normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
