Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
