there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
