you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
