You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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