I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
