we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
