I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
