You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize
