I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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